Vision for my daughters. Forgive is HARD but it is the miracle way to open my eyes to see the truth from the Lord. I’ve experienced that miracle with spouse, I am called to expand my lives and build up on that truth with people at work.

  • I had a dream that I drive a jet and the dream gives me a clear a guidance why I do a action e.g. I drive because I want to practice driving skillfully etc. the purpose overall for me aren’t the activity list meaninglessly but everything is there for me to increase my experience and to drive well and joyfully. Then I realized that a driving up and high dreams indicates a bright future for me. what a delightful dream. I felt so hopefully about my bright future in the Lord’s hand. Look, how he has healed my soul so quickly the last 2–3 days.
  • I feel hopefully about staying at the team at least until next year. I have lots of things to learn about: a/b test mechanism, statistics and learn to work with a sde team. I’m gonna earned more than loose those. let put aside thoughts about salary and opportunity out there. let’s earn best what is available here. I am here for a reason. God has gave me an opportunity here.
  • grateful about the decision to take An for a quick bath and ofuro .. spouse contributed to give it a push. and turned out for a good result. we had a delightful feeling before bed and a good sleep.
  • 1:1 hearing mtg was a great leading, Lord. I felt it right to know about their thoughts. they are good people with honest thoughts and sharing. it is just too much passion to commit unreasonably.
  • I am grateful for this journey, with help and strengthen from You, support and joy from my family and experience with this team.
  • 🌸 Lesson: yesterday journaling about anger and overcome bitterness (caused by others, external environment, culture etc.) made me realize that i used to hold that bitterness so tightly about the unfair in commitment and unbias to family commitment and achievement .. but for a loong time the sweetness of God’s love and his blessing (through the enhancement of marriage relationship and increasing children and opportunities at work and social connection) I have forgot about it. But I realized that maybe God doesn’t want me to forget but use that to prepare for a heart and life to reach a new level of sweetness in the truth of God. When I look back, I realized that God has led me there. I’ve already experienced totally what I’ve just journaled about yesterday. 🌸 NEXT: I want to remember it to share it with others and prepare for our daughters in their future. I want the best for them and hope for them to continue to open and share the ways that how God’s ways can help women overcome our faith as women in a men society. I have dream for them to experience their lives at a higher level at a global society and have a God-led way to change the world. I want them to be confident in their battle along side with the Lord who backs and protect and open the ways for them. amen.
  • body condition: sleep trouble (night temperate unstable + busy work + stress at work) + heavy body + anemia + short focus + forgetting words, people names + small mistakes + emotional
  • continue commit to my being-led-purpose to become a tech leader with a God-led-loving identity. follow the next steps
  • find joy in learning as much as possible in the last few months
  • finish well
  • prepare for my promotion evidence
  • What past act has a grip on your heart? the thought about fairness for women in bias commitment to fam work and fall short in earning. I see it with my salary etc. and time to commit to study. → → but but but I’ve learnt just now that it isn’t true. I receive security and enormous support and joy when sharing my life with a man. first is the blessing with children and a blessing of abundant finance support. The man is a great support and a great partner to enjoy life together, we build up our lives together into a unity and brighter future not just about us but bigger about our children. → → and I’ve learnt that women has been (myself) trapped in a wrong thinking pattern about learning and achievement. I didn’t have less time to learn. I didn’t know how to learn effectively. I learnt by pressure and learn shallowly while my spouse learn with purpose and passion. 🌸indeed, I’ll learn from him from now. Learn with purpose and with passion. so thankful for having him as a partner in my life, Lord.
  • What has a grip on my heart now? how can I do the same with people at work? people I have bias thoughts about? it is a new challenge Lord as I don’t share lives with them. it is difficult to understand them as we have less in common. But I feel that sharing lives together is the key. sharing lives together, talk and listen, encourage each other is the way to build up trust and love.
  • マタイの福音書 18:21–22 その時、ペテロがイエスのそばに来て尋ねました。「先生。人が私に罪を犯した場合、何回まで赦してやればいいでしょうか。七回でしょうか。」22イエスはお答えになりました。「いや、七回を七十倍するまでです
  • build up great relationship with people at work (in fighting my bitterness and bias thought, judgement for them) .. by learning the way how God has healed my heart for a similar bitterness toward men through my spouse. by SHARING LIVES and build up trust, encouragement and understanding.
  • NEXT: expand our lives to include others into our family lives through social connection, hospitality.
  • NEXT of NEXT: expand our experience with this world through travel, sharing (output)
  • NEXT of NEXT: develop the skill to organize quality social connection and communities for specific purposes
  • NEXT: open a way to incorporate my interest into the team goals and leverage the team resources to experiment with it
  • NEXT of NEXT: continuously build up network with higher leaders to understand the direction of the sister teams, the org, the key stakeholders that could collaborate with my ideas
  • NEXT of NEXT: deepen my understanding of the existing systems and trends in this technical area
  • NEXT: spend time to listen to them individually, hear their feeling and view about the team and identify ways to improve it
  • NEXT: talk with leadership and ask them to share about it.
  • NEXT of NEXT: increase my knowledge about existing solution or tooling to improve team quality.

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Mari

Mari

My daily battles along with faith