The Path with Personal Capacity
Day 220. 2021 Aug 6 Fri. Theme = 人はたくさんの計画を立てますが、主の計画だけが成る
- Help arrival: I here deciding for myself with plain text. thankful and feeling good.
- the career next step: It was hard for me to decide which one to choose. Chance to get promotion in both teams are highly uncertain — i.e. my trust in the will and the ability of manager, cross-team projects, mechanism to keep artifacts of DS, promotion path of a DS is unclear. There are differences. Search team, I would gain experience of an GAFA product team, this matches with my current study interest. The ramping up process might be tough with tools, large scale DB system, I might need to learn more to do well at the job to deliver, before thinking about promotion or leading others. This part is attractive but (1) I have huge concern about the time capacity will lose for my family (kid, spouse and others), which I want to keep dearly and build up even more. (2) I am not sure about my tech aspire. I can follow with understand and explain papers, but the implementing hurdle require a large capacity to constantly ramp up with tools, lots of new tools. This challenging of the implementing path does not fit very well with a mom, who has double, triple routine work at home. Plus, a strong desire to expand my life experience horizontally to social circles. (3) I like a flexible environment where I have a chance to learn what I desire for (deep NLP aspire), but perhaps not the key responsibility as I will affect the quality of my life (at least for now). AGS team, the tech bar is low and so I earn more “tech reputation” relatively easier. It is a good chance to see and learn roughly the operation of business — i.e. business metrics, main income flow, mechanism to evaluate the healthy state of business e.g. VOS, mechanism to design business initiative effectively. It is helpful in providing opportunity to see and learn the business skills from peer PMs (mtg leading, milestones of small business execution with multiple stakeholders, communication with leadership etc.). To thrive here, the combination of strong soft skill (strong networking, strong business sense, strong communication .. to catch fast the next smallest action .. are very important) with a medium hard tech skill look to be the right equation. This part is also attractive but (1) There is no clear path to both promotion and growth as a tech role here. (2) Fighting with structural issue e.g. inclusiveness, fair credit sharing are unhealthy mental battle. It tempts to corrupt human relationship, cut trust connection as the competition is high. Everyone is fighting for the “land” in the XBR doc. (3) It does not match my desire to work and own the projects, vs. feeling like being used and exploited. This is the second unhealthy mental battle.
- The more I wrote, I look to be choose a mental battle one without effecting my family life quality vs. choose a technical hurdle battle which effect my family life quality.
- Vision as a family and church leader?: what about the Who I want to become? I can image a me with strong motivation to keep and build up good family environment for my family, especially my kid, now and to come. I am eager to make family life more comfortable and joyful with new healthy habits and life discovery e.g. exercise, education, cooking, nutrition, traveling and charity. I also look to become a connect group leader .. growing by leading others to Jesus. The social skills in AGS team are likely to be supporting for this vision!
- Vision as a tech leader (purely in corporate world)?: I can not image well a me as a tech leader, awkwardly leading meeting with engineers who prefer silence and one-side-bias-into-coding (i see it a lot from spouse and SDE in nlp study group). I like them but communication or building a good engineering culture is something I can not image now. This also be good, as tech leader do not need to just deal with engineers or code. But perhaps, the skill gap for me to be there is still large. Plus, these tech skills or engineering expertise somehow could separate myself from others
- So now there is 3rd factor in my decision making: (1) characteristic of the battle e.g. mental vs. technical (2) effect to the quality of family life (3) how supportive it is to my vision of become a church leader?
- I will choose AGS as it has clear support for (2) and (3). I will need to continue find ways to tackle (1).
Read and Receive
- proverb 19:17 (JCB) 貧しい人に手を差し伸べるのは主に貸すのと同じです。あとで主が報いてくれます。
- proverb 19:18–19 (JCB) まだ望みのあるうちに子供を懲らしめなさい。放っておいて、その一生を台無しにしてはいけません。短気な者が失敗したら、自分で後始末させなさい。一度でも助けてやると、繰り返すようになります。
- proverb 19:20 (JCB) 忠告はできるだけ聞いて、賢く生きなさい
- proverb 19:21 (JCB) 人はたくさんの計画を立てますが、主の計画だけが成るのです。
- Lord, thank you for this time to write down and decide and feel comfortable about it. I pray for your approval Lord, if this is aligned with your will. amen