New season w. grandpa. Sleep disorder. Day #13 Choose to Trust, reflect on God’s saving actions and Sing and maintain HOPE for my next step of career. どんなことにも動じない品性.

Oct 24

Thanksgiving

• grandpa is here. 1st day ended well. grateful that I was totally released from the cooking matter. I am ready to deliver and welcome Ri. I so look forward to the journey ahead with them. To understand and bind An and Ri with them overcoming the language barrier and generation gap. I am such a blessed and I am so grateful for everything in my life.
• An’s milestone: continue on her training to plan and commit for soroban. It was such a joy to chat with her in ofuro or on bed. I asked which of the naraigoto that she wants to continue and to quit the most. She raised soroban as the top 1 to keep and nothing to quit, and that swimming was mendo, she enjoyed the class of a.odn sensei.
• grandpa’s milestone: they were very helpful in cleaning and re-organize the house, in cooking and pay a lot of attention for An. I am so grateful Lord. I’m better learn from them and depend on them a lot more.
• 🛫 my own space: here and now. That I can journal quietly and worship time. So so grateful for this new thing. amen.
• 🛫 children are joy: i couldn’t sleep well at all and holding An’s hands and feel her breath and Ri’s movement in my womb .. these were such a deep joy. I am so blessed to have them in our lives and especially having capacity to walk along with them, amen. Look down and see how grateful, Lord.

Challenge

• sleep disorder gets worse, couldn’t sleep at all at night
• a little stress of this space and this number of people. But I’m so grateful to have my new own space
• a sense of troublesome in my heart: low physical condition due to sleep disorder and lack-of-exercise, somewhat causing a sense of purposeless and incompetence and isolation from the social circle.

Receive: Day #13: Suffering time

• Let others be comfortable with what they are and want
• “Let’s see how David experiences it.
  - It feels like it has been going on forever.
  - It feels as though God is intentionally hiding from him.
  - His mind is endlessly running around in circles, leaving him exhausted.
  - His enemy (whether a physical enemy or his depression) keeps getting the upper hand.
  - He fears he may get lost and succumb to how he feels.
  - He doesn’t want the enemy to triumph and gloat.”
• David makes some important choices to see him through this difficult depressive time.
• He chooses to trust.
• He makes a heart decision to focus on God’s saving acts. He focuses on God’s character from what he knows rather than what he feels.
• He chooses to sing.

Pray

• Lord, heal my sleep disorder and prepare me for the 2 mixed new seasons
• I pray for safety of Ri, healing for my body, success of my breastfeeding plan and capacity to walk along with An.
• I pray for deepen relationship with grandpa in the next season, and capacity to get along with spouse
• I pray for a growing faith even during this season for my next step career. どんなことにも動じない品性 (character), amen.