LIVE TODAY. I was losing heart because of mistakes and change and finance losses of our trip home. I am living in isolation, loneliness and small. I feel alone. I need companies in the coming season, Lord. amen

Season challenge: ISOLATION + conflict and differences ← not to react in the flesh but to respond in the Spirit. Consult w. God, Forgive and Pray for healing of the differences.

Aug 13. Am I just counting my days everyday w.o. fun. Why don’t I start living my life now ^^. the Lord has given a new day. Live to discover it in the best way, w. fun, w. what I do. Now is my time.


  • time to learn: w. broadcast about search org. indeed, there is so many things. Do I need to learn everything? absolutely not! learn gradually. focus on deep learn what is excited for the org now. I’d like to dive deep on lexical matching: synonym, stemming, tokenization, then behavior match and semantic matching.
  • care for An: we survived another day w. homework
  • fam movie night: ドリーム about the women hidden figures behind the success of NASA in launch space ship carrying people to the space. was an inspiring night for the whole fam
  • a lift-up, recovery quickly: was an discouraged days and self-critical day w. lots of calling to cancel and change things. I was losing heart but praying in my heart and talk w. spouse was a great help.


  • survive this time but live it with JOY!! and purpose
  • walk more
  • talk more w. spouse about the future
  • I want to connect w. JPese moms in the neighborhood

Same challenge in 2021 Aug31, journal , How to deal with conflict and differences?

What are God’s way to this difference in the env?

conflict-in-heart: (e.g. being “blamed” for doing good)

calling: “Lord, help me when I come into conflict not to react in the flesh but to respond in the Spirit”. .. bring the problems to God in prayers .. and Jesus’s calling to forgive and pray for the enemies to overcome conflicts.


  • Born to Lead: Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.— Luke 22:26. although Greenleaf coined the term servant leadership, Jesus coined the concept and explained it to his glory-seeking disciples: The effectiveness of a servant leader is not measured by rank or position, rather it’s measured by the legacy the leader leaves behind. All leaders should ask themselves, “Does my leadership cause personal and professional growth in others?

Benefits of Servant Leadership:

  • It’s Not About Just One Person: Many leaders focus on their best interests rather than on the needs of the many. However, servant leaders make decisions that are in the best interest of the organization as a whole rather than just one or two people.
  • It Improves the Work Culture: Many of us have worked for different companies during our careers, and we can attest that some work cultures are more pleasing than others. When the person at the top is a servant leader, it affects the atmosphere and the people who work there in a positive manner.
  • It Promotes Customer Retention: Customers often do not know what’s going on behind the scenes in an organization, but they can feel the effects of poor leadership. When employees are unhappy, they pass that on to the customers they serve. In the same way, when employees are happy and love what they do, customers naturally want to do business with them.
  • It Promotes Innovation: Nothing is more disheartening than to feel that your ideas don’t count. For this reason, servant leaders keep an open mind when their subordinates suggest new ways of doing things. They don’t agree just for the sake of agreeing, but they genuinely consider and embrace those things that would enhance the organization as a whole.
  • It Keeps the Ego in Check: In a traditional leadership role, the person in charge makes all the decisions, communicates what needs to be done, and then takes credit for the completed project. On the other hand, servant leaders give credit where credit is due to help others reach higher standards of performance.
  • Whenever you feel like elevating yourself, remember the example of Jesus. Philippians 2:6–7 tells us that Jesus was “in very nature God, [yet] did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” His mission was not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). ルカの福音書 22:24–26 また彼らの間で、やがて実現する御国でだれが一番偉いかということで議論が起こりました。 25イエスは、それを見て言われました。「この世では、王や高官たちが支配者として権力をほしいままにしています。 26だが、あなたがたの間では違います。一番よく人に仕える人こそ、よく人を治める人になるのです。マルコの福音書 10:45 45メシヤのわたしでさえ、人に仕えられるためではなく、仕えるために来たのであり、多くの人の罪の代償として、自分のいのちを与えるために来たのです。」

Repent and Pray

  • Lord, my bitterness make me seeking glory for myself. Help save me from the temptation raising strong right now.
  • I am so alone, Lord. I need company in my journey of doing your wills and plan for me, amen.

A glimse from journal of 2020 Aug 26

  • thought: what i am seeking? my service? my name? my value? wake up! balanced life! peace and joy and love. understand and empathy. be like children.
  • ask: uncontent about L5. compare myself w. spouse and kohai. insensitive. unable to empathize others
  • bible: make every effort to live in peace with everyone.



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My daily battles along with faith