How will I commit to believing bigger, living bolder, and fully stepping into what God has destined you to be and do? in this lonely season and next quiet season. Forget about promo and execute my vision for AUG.

Aug 04. a sense of loneliness is surrounding myself. I have a sense of I am wasting my time here in this team and living everyday meaninglessly haunting by the team. But it is true. What God’s Love is telling me. What keeps me from stepping into the chaostic of others. What do I see as the right thing here?

Thanksgiving

• I’m just tiring. I need rest and be back to track with God’s principles: loving, humility and rejoice. Reading the journal of 2 years ago reminded that the temptation in stressful and tiring time is just exactly the same thing, tempted me to be angry, hostile, bitter and want to give up. Instead I should plan to rest and plan my life according to God’s will.
• just thankful now: ♪ To the very word for Love be spoken ♪ the next step to be on Your road. I run to the next stage to meet You. To the very wave, you gonna use me.

Challenge

• I need rest to feel well again
• team’s situation weary me. talked w. hubby doesn’t help. I am losing trust for colleague and feeling fed-up about their unreasonable expectation.
• An’s sapix: it felt fed-up see her giving up so early. I don’t know if I kept loosing my time to help us would drain both myself and her. it isn’t sustainable. Talked w. spouse about it but he wasn’t very helpful. NEXT: I might help her to experience with other juku and decide together.

Wakeup call

• God did bless my plans in the past with exact 2 years delay: I revisit my plan in 2020 Mar and realized that I planned to be on maternity leave on 2020 Sep, the reality is it happens in 2022 Sep, exactly 2 years. How do I take this? positively as it finally happened only after 2 years or it was 2 years delayed and felt bitter? I want to take on the 1st thought as totally children are God’s grace. Then I realized that I planned for a promo for 2021 Apr. And I am bitter about it now, exactly. But should I? I don’t want to be bitter for what I don’t have yet but be celebrating what I am given. The second me would be more pleasing to the Lord.

Receive

• Believing Bigger: Unleash Your Faith: Courage: Step In: You have not passed this way before. (JOSHUA 3:4 ESV). Nothing that has occurred in your life is a coincidence. Everything you’ve encountered — even the awful things — have been part of your journey… you may not know exactly where you are, where you’re going, or, most importantly, why you’re ultimately here. That’s okay. Becoming comfortable with mystery is one of the ways we grow our faith. God designed you for a powerful purpose, and you’re already being guided by it. It’s what led you to this moment. You’re a messenger and a carrier of the Holy Spirit. God intends that we be the book, the living Word — a living manifestation of God’s unlimited abilities and promises. In Romans 9:17, God says, “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display My power in you and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth’.(NIV). Lord, have Your way in my life. Take me on an adventure that expands my capacity and leads others directly to You. I trust You. Amen.ヨシュア記 3:4 三日目に、指導者たちは野営地を巡って、人々に次のような命令を伝えました。「主の契約の箱（十戒を記した石板が納めてある）をかついでいる祭司たちの姿が見えたら、あとに従いなさい。これから行く所は見知らぬ地だから、祭司が先導するのです。ただし、箱との間は、二千キュビト（約九百メートル）の距離を保ちなさい。それより近づいてはなりません。」

Prayer for Aug (1st fruit)

• 1st of all: prioritize my capacity: health, time and mental. which is the important source for me to follow the calling of God. (first drop my expectation on work, manager’s expectation) amen. → → 🌸 opportunity coming NOW
• expand to include others to our lives (fam lives and connect group lives) e.g. team, vnese mom communities, ballet mom communities ? scientists around the world? .. pray for it. do it purposefully → → 🌸 opportunity coming NOW

enjoy my journey and opportunities to earn the experience from the given environment e.g. scrum master, team lead .. continue develop the right (system) knowledge and vision knowledge (through trend inside and outside) and people connection knowledge for the next step of my tech career. be patient about God’s approval for promotion. for now enjoy learning, discovery and develop connection.→ → ★ needs a mindset change. NO LONGER my focuses. I need to shift this to deep learn the technical skill and vision/domain knowledge

• vision to invest the right things to An. she is at peak of consuming knowledge and discovering the world through experience and people connection → → 🌸 opportunity coming NOW
• build up my confidence as 1st lady of the Jesus: decent attire and inclusive attitude when being within social community. → → 🌸 opportunity coming NOW

♫♪🌸♫♪🌸♫♪🌸♫♪🌸♫♪🌸♫♪🌸♫♪🌸 I have HOPE to become who I always wish from NOW as my prayer for AUG has lots of HOPE to be done. LOOK FORWARD and commit to it. forget about people at work for the next 6 months