God’s Ways are the Clear Separation of Good and Evil, with Great Love and Grateful

Day 81. 2021 Mar 20

Wash: for how long will I be continue prioritizing work, activities over my family like this? (perhaps my health as well). Work and interest activities are time-overwhelming but rich and satisfied: ML project with central team, NLP paper reading, NLP paper coding, dive deep analysis for root cause and cohort prioritization, english, interview .. especially the new experience with interview kept me excited .. the consequence: me exhausted, work related talk to my spouse, expect to people rather than God (promotion), oversimplified meals at home, late bed for my kids, less bath time with my kid, … my kid hasn’t increase weight for how many months? Weekend also overwhelmed with classes: juken, swimming, vietnamese, … I am hungry for more time for myself .. I’ve been falling short of self-discipline and guilt and dilemma: MORE EXCITEMENT for me somehow means LESS DAILY LIFE QUALITY for my fam. Even we are happy and our unity have improved such a miraculous space (no more loud voice argument, we laugh, talk, joking, play together .. our kid has been the great glue binding us together in a shared joy).

Is it assumption “more excitement for me means less DAILY life quality for my fam” even true? how can I commit to make it is not going to be work for LONG-TERM good for my fam? How can I resolve the time limitation, energy limitation setting of the Lord? Is it human dilemma? woman dilemma?

O Lord, Purify my heart, again!

Thanksgiving: I woke in before 7am the last few days .. and seeing my fam sleeping so well .. my life would have been ended very differently. I am so grateful for this life, this redeemed, forgiven life, even blessed and growing life. I was walking to my favorite cafe this morning and felt extremely grateful for this life. Even I don’t have a solution for my dilemma, I know I need to keep searching it through the ways of the Lord.

Highlight on the half-good-half-evil of human being

  • ‘.. he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated. the words of his mouth are trouble and deceit; he has ceased to act wisely and do good. he plots trouble while on this bed; he set himself in a way that is not good; he does not reject evil ..’, Psalm 36:2–4 , ESV
  • at Nazareth: ‘.. ALL spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words that were coming form his mouth ..’, Luke 4:22, ESV
  • at Nazareth: ‘.. ALL in the synagogue were filled with wrath. And they rose up and drove him out of the town and brought him .. so that they could throw him down the cliff..’, Luke 4:28, ESV
  • at Capernaum, a city of Galilee: ‘they were astonished at his teaching, for his word possessed authority .. And they were all amazed and said to one another, “what is this word? For with authority and power he commands the unclean spirits, and they come out” ..’, Luke 4:32,36 , ESV

I can identify myself with these people .. being amazed at God’s words at a time .. but the Words at sometime were shallow and how unstable our belief are. We are want to believe what we want to believe .. we plots trouble while on this bed; he set himself in a way that is not good; he does not reject evil .. especially at my recent dilemma on activity busy daily life.

Highlight on Jesus’s reputation and this teaching words with authority

  • ‘Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country, .. .. and reports about him went out into every place in the surrounding region’, Luke 4:37, ESV
  • ‘.. the gracious words that were coming form his mouth .. for his words possessed authority ..’

Jesus influence was great and clearly spreading as revealed when the description shifted from “a report” to “reports”, and from “surround country” also shifted to “every place in the surrounding region”. Perhaps reports about him at the end description was with multiple sentiment: good and bad (like the same audience at Nazareth’s synagogue showed attitudes at him shifted quickly from admired to hostile). This fact identifies with what Jesus taught in other books in Gospel that .. he came not to unify everyone but he came to divide the family, .. to separate the wheat and the chaff .. that who hear and seek Him are led closer to His ways, while who do not hear are led even further into the ‘unquenchable fire’ or destruction. Indeed, God’s ways are the clear separation of Good and Evil. It is very different from our imagination and feel like impossible to achieve for human being? Then, which side will I fall into? given the power of the crowd is very powerful?

I am reminded now that I need the Holy Spirit to know the right sight to stand on, despite the power of the crowd, the environment.

And that God’s ways allow not the half-good-half-evil (religious) but a sharp separation of good and evil. Still, at our astonishment, this God’s ways are at the same time full of love and forgiveness. This combination is PERFECT and impossible in human’s thought and mental system.